All children are different. There are no two ways about it. Each child develops differently, views their surroundings differently, and responds to experiences differently. Therefore as a parent, you have to understand “your” child’s perspective.
Bullying is one of those things that no one wishes their child goes through, but it is as real as it gets. The first step to dealing with bullying is to accept it is happening. The role of parents is quite prominent in how a child, grown or otherwise, deals with this situation.
As mentioned, each situation is different, and how your child perceives this experience is also different as such, there is no one size fits all when dealing with such situations.
However, knowing that there are others dealing with the same and that you can do something about it makes all the difference. Here we have discussed ways you can deal with bullies effectively.
Bear in mind that these are serious concerns, and if things do not get under control, you may need to take different measures.
Your Child Isn’t to Blame
Often parents, even when being supportive, question their child. Phrases such as “you could have” or “why don’t you” are useless in such situations. You must understand that suggestions won’t have the effect you want at this point in time.
Instead, understand the fear and unpleasant feelings your child is experiencing. Having a conversation is only right if your child is willing to talk. If not, then give them some time to come forward with their experience.
You or the Child Isn’t At Fault
Understanding why your child is in a situation can lessen the blow. As traumatizing as dealing with bullying is, you must understand why something like this is happening. It is common to assume “it is the target’s fault” but this isn’t the case.
The bully and the bully alone are responsible for their actions. They are damaged individuals who want to feel in charge or are generally powerless in their personal life. What you have to focus on is how to deal with their aggression as they have targeted you.
Answering your bully when they are making your life a living hell isn’t ideal. Instead, speak to other resources you may have. Talking to your parents and taking them in confidence is necessary.
If this isn’t possible, speaking to a counselor, a teacher you are comfortable with, or a friend can help you think of ways to cope with the situation. When adults are involved, they are bound to take action, which does make life easier for them.
Your Body Language Matters
Whenever a bully approaches you, it is best to ignore them and walk away. This may anger them in certain situations, but it is better to walk into a group of people or friends nearby. Moreover, the way you ignore a bully says a lot about your reaction to them.
Your body language can convey your regard towards them. Acting like you don’t know them can help take their attention off of you. When they don’t get the reaction, they expect they are likely to move on to a new target.
Being smart about dealing with bullies is necessary. Fighting back does not mean you have to physically tackle them. Instead, it means using other easy to assert your dominance.
If you are in a safe place and know people are around, you can ask your bully what they actually want from you. You can also ask what would it take for them to leave you alone. While doing so, keep your tone neutral and control any fearful feelings you may have.
Apart from this, you can find something to use against the bully if they are still pursuing you after several warnings. If there is a way to even the playing field, then find it.
In most bullying cases, adults get involved and assume things are resolved after the first sitting. This is almost never the case. The involvement of adults, whether it is the parents, the school counselor, or teachers, is bound to have an adverse reaction from the bully.
Since informing an adult is necessary, it is better to keep them involved for a long time. This means including follow-ups to your first conversation and making sure the bully is maintaining their conduct.
The responsibility of making sure the bully acts right falls to the adults involved, and the best way is to monitor how things are going after you believe everything thing is fine.
Verbal reports from the school administration or people in charge are not enough. Checking in with your child to see how they are doing and whether the result of your involvement is positive is necessary.
If not, you might have to change tactics. It is imperative not to take things lightly and even go to extreme measures such as changing schools when it comes to your child’s well-being.
Being bullied can seriously affect the physical and mental health of your child. It is necessary to keep an eye on them and register any behavioral or physical changes in them through this time.
Take Extreme Measures
If there is one thing that parents must do for their child is go to extremes. While this sounds, well, extreme, it is the right thing to do. For instance, if the bullying gets worse and there are no changes to the environment, you may have to relocate or change schools.
In some severe cases, you may have to involve law enforcement to control things before they get worse. Do not take any chances when it comes to the well-being of your child. There are no limits.
There is no Right Or Wrong Way
If your child is facing such a concern, then buckle up to deal with the situation hands-on. Ignoring the problem or just giving advice isn’t going to work. Make sure you involve yourself to protect your child and make a difference in their situation.